(Because Great Sex Starts Way Before the Bedroom)
Let’s be honest — sex isn’t just about the physical act.
It’s about connection, safety, and presence.
But so many people rush toward sex without ever feeling fully ready, which often leads to frustration, disconnection, or even pain. Whether you’ve been with your partner for years, or you’re stepping into intimacy with someone new, this guide is for you.
If you’ve ever wondered how to truly get ready for sex — not just physically, but emotionally and somatically — you’re about to learn.
Step 1: Clear the Mental Clutter
Before you touch, kiss, or undress — your mind needs to feel safe.
Modern life leaves no space for erotic energy. Between work, kids, bills, and stress, your brain doesn’t always switch to “intimate mode” on demand. That’s why mental preparation is often the most overlooked but powerful part of sexual readiness.
Ask yourself:
✨ Am I holding onto stress, anger, or resentment toward myself or my partner?
✨ Am I present, or am I distracted by my to-do list?
If the answer is “yes” — don’t skip this step. Pause. Talk. Breathe. Connect.
Step 2: Connect With Your Body
This is where my somatic intimacy coaching approach truly shines.
Most people think desire should “just happen.” But our bodies need time and permission to feel safe enough to open up.
Touching your own body, stretching, breathing deeply — these are powerful ways to invite arousal and relaxation, not just for women but for men too.
The body isn’t a machine that switches on with the flick of a button — it’s an intelligent, emotional ecosystem that craves attention.
Step 3: Emotional Safety Is Foreplay
Safety is the foundation of desire.
If you or your partner don’t feel emotionally secure, physical connection will always feel awkward, rushed, or absent.
Whether you’re dealing with past wounds, relationship stress, or simply haven’t been intimate in a while — addressing this openly is more important than any bedroom technique.
And this is exactly what I help my clients with as a relationship and intimacy coach.
I offer space for couples and individuals to unpack fears, resentments, and expectations so you can create a safe emotional foundation for real, loving intimacy.
Step 4: Allow, Don’t Perform
Great sex isn’t about performance.
It’s about allowing.
Allowing pleasure, allowing connection, allowing vulnerability.
When you release the pressure to “get it right,” your body and mind naturally find their way into the moment.
As a somatic coach, I work with clients on releasing old stories around sex — whether it’s shame, trauma, or unrealistic expectations — so that they can show up as their full selves, with confidence and authenticity.
Step 5: Make It an Ongoing Practice
Getting ready for sex isn’t something you do once.
It’s a practice of building self-awareness, emotional honesty, and body intelligence.
The more you prepare your mind, heart, and body for intimacy in your daily life, the more effortlessly your desire flows.
You Deserve Deep, Fulfilling Intimacy
If you’ve struggled with disconnection, performance anxiety, or simply feeling “shut down” — you are not broken. You simply need support, practice, and space to reconnect with yourself and your partner.
And this is where I come in.
As a somatic intimacy coach, I help both men and couples break through the emotional and physical barriers that hold them back from real connection.
Through 1:1 coaching and self-paced courses, I offer tools to:
💖 Reclaim desire and body confidence
💖 Build emotional and physical safety
💖 Unlock more passion and playfulness in your relationship
Ready to feel ready — and excited — for intimacy again?
Let’s start the journey together.
👉 [Book your private coaching call today.]
Andre Lazarus is a Certified Intimacy, Sex and Relationship Guide, trained Surrogate Partner, as well as Sacred Intimate with 9+ years of experience helping individuals and couples discover their intimate and erotic power. Andre specializes in erotic desire, sexless relationships, sexual trauma healing, erectile concerns, rapid ejaculation, BDSM, consensual non-monogamy, and more.
Book a discovery call and enroll into my courses to discover a deeper connection to yourself and your partner!
