If you’re here, you’re not alone. Lasting longer in bed is something countless men struggle with, and yet, it’s rarely talked about. Performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, and difficulty controlling arousal can feel frustrating, even embarrassing—but they don’t have to be permanent. With the right techniques and a shift in mindset, you can develop control, deepen your pleasure, and enjoy intimacy on an entirely new level.

I’ve spent years working with men who want to improve their stamina and overcome erectile concerns. What I’ve found is that the key to lasting longer isn’t about just “holding back”—it’s about slowing down, breathing deeply, and retraining your body’s natural responses.

Let’s dive into practical strategies and exercises to help you last longer in bed.

The Power of Slowing Down

One of the biggest mistakes men make in the bedroom is rushing. Maybe it’s excitement, maybe it’s nerves, maybe it’s just habit—but moving too fast leads to rapid escalation and a lack of control. The secret to lasting longer? Slow everything down.

1. Slow Your Movements – Whether it’s foreplay or penetration, move slower than feels natural. This helps reduce overstimulation and gives your body time to adjust.
2. Slow Your Breathing – Shallow, rapid breathing signals arousal and tension. Deep, steady breaths send a message to your nervous system that you’re in control.
3. Slow Your Mind – Don’t focus on “not finishing too fast.” Instead, shift your attention to sensation, connection, and enjoying the moment.

The Role of Deep Breathing

Breathing deeply is one of the simplest yet most effective ways to gain control over your arousal. It’s no coincidence that elite athletes and meditation experts use breathwork—it directly influences the nervous system. When you feel yourself getting too close to climax, try this:

• Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four.
• Hold for four seconds.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of six.
• Repeat until you feel more in control.

This technique relaxes your body, slows your heart rate, and shifts you out of the high-arousal state that leads to rapid ejaculation.

Edging: Training Your Body for Control

Edging is one of the most powerful exercises for improving stamina. It involves bringing yourself close to climax and then stopping before you ejaculate. This helps train your body to recognize high arousal without immediately tipping over the edge.

How to Practice Edging:

1. Start Alone – Begin with masturbation so you can fully control the pace.
2. Use the Stop-and-Start Method – When you feel yourself approaching orgasm, stop all stimulation. Take deep breaths and wait until the urge subsides.
3. Repeat 3-5 Times – Do this in one session, aiming to prolong your pleasure.
4. Apply It During Sex – Once you’re comfortable with the technique, use it during intercourse by pausing or switching to slower movements when you feel close to finishing.

Relaxing the Pelvic Floor for Better Control

A tense pelvic floor can make ejaculation happen faster. Learning to relax these muscles helps you last longer and even experience stronger orgasms.

Exercise: Reverse Kegels

Most men have heard of Kegel exercises, which involve contracting the pelvic floor. Reverse Kegels do the opposite—relaxing and lengthening those muscles.

1. Find the Right Muscles – The pelvic floor is the set of muscles you use to stop urination midstream. Instead of tightening them, practice fully relaxing them.
2. Breathe and Release – Take a deep breath in, and as you exhale, consciously relax your pelvic floor. Imagine gently pushing down (as if trying to urinate).
3. Repeat Daily – Do this for 2-3 minutes per day to improve relaxation and control.

Managing Performance Anxiety

For many men, anxiety is a major culprit in premature ejaculation. Worrying about performance creates tension, and tension speeds up ejaculation. Instead of letting your mind race, try this:

• Focus on the sensations of touch and warmth rather than performance.
• Use deep breathing to stay present.
• Remind yourself that sex isn’t a test—it’s about connection and pleasure.

Building a Mindset for Sexual Confidence

Changing your sexual stamina isn’t just about physical exercises—it’s about developing confidence. Know that improving takes time, and every step forward counts.

• Track Your Progress – Notice small improvements and celebrate them.
• Communicate with Your Partner – Honesty reduces pressure and makes sex more enjoyable.
• Shift from Outcome to Experience – Instead of aiming for a specific time goal, focus on how good each moment feels.

Take Control of Your Sexual Stamina

The techniques we covered today are just the beginning. Lasting longer in bed is a skill that can be developed, just like any other. If you’re ready for a deeper transformation, my course Talented Lover: Mastering the Craft of Intimacy offers a structured program with guided exercises, expert insights, and real-world techniques to help you take control of your stamina once and for all.

Join today and start seeing real improvements in your confidence and performance.

You’re not alone in this journey—and with the right tools, you can achieve the control you want. Sign up now and take the next step toward lasting longer and enjoying better sex.

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Andre Lazarus is a Certified Intimacy, Sex and Relationship Guide, trained Surrogate Partner, as well as Sacred Intimate with 9+ years of experience helping individuals and couples discover their intimate and erotic power.  Andre specializes in erotic desire, sexless relationships, sexual trauma healing, erectile concerns, rapid ejaculation, BDSM, consensual non-monogamy, and more.

Book a discovery call and enroll into my courses to discover a deeper connection to yourself and your partner!